There was a lot of yelling, and nobody seemed to be in a good mood. Nothing seem to be working.Once I started the facilitator programme, I started analysing myself and realised that I was the one who needed to change first.
Home schooling was a choice we made as a family. We were concerned about the competition and consumerism that is the major take away in the contemporary schools. Then we found an Alternate School nearby and admitted them there.
As a way of ensuring that my children will grow to be natural learners and self-healing abilities will be a part of their growing up process, we decide to join the Learning Facilitator Course offered by Mudhive. The first step was self-healing and spreading that healing energy in the environment with the focus on alternative method and approach to learning. Positive parenting involved my unschooling. I understood that unschooling was the only positive parenting solution in a world where children are faced with continuous stress of performance in schools. And that the unschooling was for me! I am of the opinion that academic progress is not the only parameter for learning. That healing energy is needed every day and parenting practices that include emotional intelligence alone can provide the best approach to self-healing practices that a child can fall back on at all times.
I am a mother of two young children, aged 5 and 7 living in Tamilnadu.
During lockdown, like every other parent, I battled to keep my kids away from the television. To get them to listen to me, I yelled, screamed, threatened, and even hit them. I’d feel awful for yelling at them. I felt guilty, ashamed, and doubted my ability to be a parent at times. There was a lot of yelling, and nobody seemed to be in a good mood. Nothing seem to be working.
Once I started the facilitator programme, I started analysing myself and realised that I was the one who needed to change first. The program reiterates again and again that children are just copying adults in their environment and therefore when we were unhappy with what the children are doing, we must reflect on our actions and behaviour. When I dug deep inside myself and asked myself questions about how I acted when my children interrupted my screen or phone time.
1. I would shush them and send them away when I was on a call (even if it wasn’t important).
2. I was only physically present when my child wanted to talk to me while I was aimlessly scrolling through my phone. My mind was completely focused on the phone.
3. I tell them not to bother me during screen time.
Overall, these experiences instilled in my children the belief that screen time is valuable and that they should not be interrupted during it. So, when I instructed them to turn off the television, they screamed.
This is when I recognised that change must begin with myself. I gradually and consciously began to minimise my screen time. As a part of the LFP we are asked to learn to draw, make something with our hands, recycle and repurpose old things. I began drawing, painting, crafting and reading and I thoroughly enjoyed it because it began to awaken the child in me. My children gradually observed that I was no longer screaming at them during screen time, and that I was engaged in some activity that I was enjoying. They also enquired about joining me. I gladly welcomed them.
I stopped instructing them to perform anything in particular. I told them they could do whatever they wanted. Sure, the house became a mess, but the kids became happier by the day. I was astounded at how kids could play for hours and hours with only one empty cardboard box. Our bond got stronger, and my children began to share even the smallest details with me. I began to see the world through the eyes of my children, and everything around me has become a wonder. My kids still ask for screen time, and when I tell them they can watch for an hour or an hour and a half, they enthusiastically comply.
I wouldn’t say everything changed overnight, but we’re on our way, slowly but surely. I want to tell you all that we need to be unschooled ourselves and allow our children to learn by their intuition. In fact, our intuition is awakened by these parenting solutions and healing happens alongside.
